For the longest time, I would cringe at the idea of these “women influencers”. I would get stiff shoulders and a blank stare when I would see women talk about all things positive but then watch how they acted behind closed doors. And I mean, real talk. I think it’s easy for our hearts to turn cold when we watch ladies present themselves a specific way on the media but then see their heart shine through in real life.

Growing up, I had no one to teach me how to be a woman. Let alone how to be a godly woman. I grew up watching my mom read the newest beauty magazine every night and spent at least four days a week sitting in the dressing room while she shopped. I was taught beauty was identified in our makeup. In our style. In having the name brand clothes and shoes. It never sat right with me and for the longest time I thought something was wrong with me because I wasn’t obsessed with these things like I grew up watching.

Then growing a little older in those mid-teenage years, you know… the awkward years. Girls were the cruelest humans I had ever experienced. If you didn’t wear the same clothes as the ‘popular’ kids you were a loser. If you didn’t have the newest phone, you were a loser. If you liked a boy that another girl liked, you were about to get chewed out. Girls have always had this roaring insecurity that we have tried and cover up with authority over other girls. As if authority is an antidote to our lack of confidence.

In my older teenage years, I watched my best friend hook up with my boyfriend at the time. I watched the girl from church get passed out at the party. I watched the wealthy girl bully the less fortunate girl. Girls have always been known for going after what they want and not caring about who they hurt in the process. Girls have been known for putting a perfect image and then living in hate behind the doors. Real talk, girls have been known for being mean.

I struggled with the idea of “women influencers” so much in my recent years because all my life, even up until now, I have seen how girls can be.

Just because someone has a following, does not mean they are kind in real life. Anybody can type up something sweet.

Just because someone posts all of the right influential posts, does not mean they are living it out. Anybody can whip out their Bible and snap a photo.

Just because someone seems like they are doing all of the right things, does not mean they have a pure heart about it. Anybody can put on a show.

Girls have had this haughty posture of “If it’s not about me, then I don’t care”. And this is such a sad way to live. Why? Because hatred and bitterness never pleases anybody other than Satan. I don’t know what you’ve seen growing up… but let’s not be the reason other girls don’t like girls.

We are always influencing people whether we want to or not. However, we get the choice on how we are going to influence people. We get to choose if we are going to love or if we are going to hate. We get to choose if we are going to be loud or we are going to be understanding. We get to choose if we are going to be hasty or if we are going to be patient. We get to choose if we are going to speak life or we are going to gossip. We get to choose if we are going to be proud or if we are going to be humble. Let’s be the type of kind that really means it.

I had such an ill feeling towards women for years because the examples of women I had seen in my life were not very good ones if we can be honest. But what I learned is that the Lord will use US to fill in the gap for what we have seen most lacking. He will use US to be what we never had for someone else.

So… for the girl who has been hurt by another girl, you’re better than to shrink back for the rest of your life because of that one person.

For the girl who has been verbally attacked by other girls, you’re approved by God. Who cares what they say.

For the girl who has been randomly dropped by her friends, you’re on your way to better things and fruitful friendships.

For the girl whose mom is pressuring her to do something with her life, take your time and let God guide you.

For the girl who finds herself insecure because of other girls, whatever they said to you to make you insecure came from their own insecurity. You’re enough.

I hope we learn to CELEBRATE each other. I hope we learn how to look crazy from how much we cheer each other on. I hope we learn that we will only get stronger from holding each other up. Healing and encouragement will never come from tearing down.

When this roaring insecurity comes sneaking it’s way back up… I hope we stomp on it together and send it back to hell where it came from. And instead of covering it up with authority over each other… I hope we join together in authority over IT. And speak truth to it that we’re all a team. And we’re all equal. And we’re all pretty flipping amazing.

Let’s be the girls that we always needed.